Monday, January 19, 2009

I have been TAGGED!

My friend Julee has tagged me. I suppose that means that I have to share with you 10 things about myself - and be totally honest. I don't know that anyone is that interested, but I have been thinking about it, so here goes. 
1.  I worry about things that I can't control, which leads to my number 2...
2.  I am scared to death, literally, of dying. I lay awake some nights worrying that I will not be around to raise my children, which leads to my number 3...
3.  If I am scared of being gone, why do I waste energy while I am here fussing and screaming at my children? Honestly, there are about three days out of the month that I feel like I constantly raise my voice and fuss at my kids and then I hate myself for doing it. 
4.  I hate drama. I really don't even like watching it on tv, but I definitely can't stand it in my own life. Life is too short and precious for drama. 
5.  I am on a mission to understand my faith better and strengthen my relationship with God. I have made a resolution to pray more on my own and with my family. I want to improve myself as a person in this area especially.
6.  I want to go back to work. I have loved being at home, but when Manning starts school, I want to have something to occupy my time and add to the family pot at the same time. 
7.  I love to shop for bargains. I love digging through the Clearance racks at TJ Maxx and finding an unusual top to put with what else - jeans. I can't remember the last time I paid full price for something.
8.  There are days in my new life that I miss my old one. Sometimes I miss Eufaula. I love living in Auburn, but there are days when I miss the familiarity of Eufaula. I knew how to "do" Eufaula, I feel like I am still learning my way here. 
9.  I don't want Manning to go to kindergarten. I want him to stay this age. I am so glad that I kept him home one more year. It has been great. I love having him home with me for even a small part of the day. He is about to lose his first tooth and I can't stand it, I don't want it to come out. I feel like my kids are growing up too fast. I know everyone says that, but I wish I could freeze time. (This seems to conflict with wanting to go back to work, but I think the reason I do is because I don't want to spend my days alone). 
10.  There have been more than one occasion when I wanted to take my family and Jack's family and live on a deserted island. Where no one could get sick or fight or get hurt. I know that is childish and ridiculous, but there are times when I think it would be so much easier. 

Well, there it is - 10 things about me you might not have known. From the heart and spilled onto  the page. 


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5 comments:

Julee H. Nappier said...

You did it!(:

Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts with us. I enjoy reading your writing...you're good at it!

I feel the same about a lot of your thoughts about life, family, religion etc. I have a lot of fears in life. A lot of unanswered questions, too.

Keep the blogging up! I've missed it!(:

Elizabeth said...

Okay, I'll have to answer my tag too. I don't want you to go back to work, although you know it crosses my mind too.

Anonymous said...

Hey Barclay,
Enjoyed reading what you wrote. I also want to go back to work and I also need to work on my relationship with God. Maybe we can help each other.

Anonymous said...

Hey Barclay,
Enjoyed reading what you wrote. I also want to go back to work and I also need to work on my relationship with God. Maybe we can help each other.

Tiffany said...

Don't you dare move to a deserted island! I'll miss you too much!